So, it's in the morning before I have to go to work and I'm updating so I don't go against what I said before. I really don't have time to go into detail about anything. This week is crazy. Melissa's wedding is this weekend so it's been pretty stressful. After this week though, I'll be able to breathe. I'm so excited though, because Myke is coming back next weekend. Anyway, I really have to go get ready for work, so I'll leave it at that. I'll update later.
:-) |
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Tired
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Aug. 20th, 2008 @ 12:10 am
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So, this is going to be a short entry because I'm extremely tired. It was a pretty long day at work and it's late now. Anyway, I will expound further at a later date, but I'm basically on an emotional rollercoaster because of this most recent relationship (if you even want to call it that). It might have been two months of wasted time, but I'm not sure if I'm willing to devalue it just quite yet. Through all of the pain I've had to go through, there were some really great moments. I just hope that I can come to reconcile this in time. To be honest, I really wouldn't be writing in this right now if I didn't believe in the efficacy of writing as a therapeutic outlet. Well, as I stated before, I'm tired. So, I will close this entry out, but will try to maintain these entries.
Drew
~The Gay~TMI'm listening to: The steady hum on the airconditioner |
For all that still have a subscription to this journal, I'm resurrecting my ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) queernotes page. So, go there and post!!!!
Drew |
<tbody>
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<td align="middle">NEW YORK!
You scored 57% Style, 12% Climate, and 91% Culture! </td></tr>
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<td>You are New York City. New York City is the largest city in the United States. It is located in the southern part of New York State, at the mouth of the Hudson River (also known as North River as it passes Manhattan Island). “The Big Apple” is a major world capital and a world leader in finance, the arts, and communications. The port of New York is one of the finest in the world and ranks as the largest port complex on the East Coast. The city is the home of the United Nations and is headquarters for some of the world's largest corporations. The city is also the center of advertising, fashion, publishing, and radio broadcasting in the United States.
Oh yes, you're happy about this. You secretly wanted to get New York, didn't you? And why not...it's the city the symbolizes America and all the freedoms that America offers. You welcome diversity. You want to see those twinkling city lights. Heck, you probably wouldn't mind if your name was up in lights somewhere, too. You are a partier and you love to be out and about. Shopping, art, theater, people...that all makes you very happy. So does sunshine, so does snow...heck, you're not picky about the weather. Very nice result, my friend. </td></tr>
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<td align="middle"> </td></tr></tbody></table>
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 75% on Style |
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You scored higher than 0% on Climate |
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You scored higher than 97% on Culture |
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Yes, so I'm not posting on here like I said I would. Life is hard with school and work and everything else. I barely have time for anything. I don't even get a day off. But anyway, now that I've stopped complaining...
Things aren't bad now. I'm not really liking Wal-mart right now. Not enough people work in the Vision Center. We have someone new, but we still need more people.
I still continue (yes, I know that was redundant) the status of "single". You know honestly, I just don't have time for a boyfriend. Or at least I don't have time to go looking for one. I have had one or two people approach me, but I'm sure with no more than a friendly greeting on their mind.
Things are okay with Louis. There is this new guy that he's talking to. It kind of bothers me that he is not open about it. He actually tried to hide it at first, until I said something about it. I'm not sure what he's afraid of. I've never talked to this guy or seen him. I don't even know if this guys knows I exist. Louis says he does, but I'm not so sure he's telling the truth. But whatever, that's his decision if he doesn't want me involved in his life.
I really don't know what to talk about other than school and work... because that's all I do. Oh, yeah, I'm supposed to start tutoring this guy in music theory. Hopefully, it will be more enjoyable for me than painful. I love teaching and all, it just depends on the student. Speaking of theory. I'm taking theory this semester and while I really like the class, we are going pretty slow. We started the semester with secondary dominants and we are still on them. We are only going to start diminished seven chords next class. I'm just waiting to do neapolitan sixths and atonal harmonies. I think I feel like that because my history class is ridiculously fast-paced. Now that I'm thinking about it, I guess it balances out.
Well anyway, I'm going to study some more for my history quiz and then I'm going to head to Choir, so this is where I'll sign off.
:-)
The GayTM <- I remember doing that when I used to write regularly.I'm feeling:  mellow I'm listening to: The gentle clicks of fingers against keys |
| » It's been a long time |
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Wow, so when was the last time I was on here anyway? I know it's had to have been over a year. Anyway, I think I'll take another time to update, but I just wanted to put something in here.
Aug. 30th, 2006 @ 07:59 pm
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| » Yay! |
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Today was a little better than yesterday. At least I wasn't crying uncontrollably. I talked to Doug. We set up a time to meet so we can talk about things. He says (and I guess I agree) that we should see where each of us stand, see what each of us want, and figure out how to make the best of our relationship. I know that we're not going to be together, but I can't bare even thinking about losing him. If anything, I want to be there for him if not with him. I want him to be happy. And I really hope that I'm not complicating his life. I guess I'll just have to wait and see how things go.
Well, I talked to Neil as well. I'm really excited about this nursing home gig we've got this saturday. I arranged the Mikado so it'll be like 20 minutes long. It's funny. We're trying to get people to do it now. Doug can't do it unfortunately. I e-mailed Ric and Lilibeth, so hopefully they'll be able to. Neil and I also talked about this idea of his. He wants to open his own dinner theater with me. We talked about shows we can do and stuff like that. We already have the first year lined up. He wants to do it with in the next two years. I'm really excited about it. You know this show (The Mikado) has changed my life. There are so many new things that are opening up for me. I'm so thankful that I did get this opportunity. I really need to thank Chris the next time I see him. He really is the reason I did the show in the first place. I really am blessed. And you know, that makes me think. Through all the crap that I have to go through, I do have a lot to be thankful for. I think I was too busy looking at what I don't have that I missed what I do have. I was so concentrated on the fact that I can't be with Doug that I didn't really see the beginning of a great friendship. I was so distracted by my financial situation that I didn't see the opportunities opening up for me. It kind of gives me renewed determination and strength. God, everything does happen for a reason. And I'm and thankful for everything, good or bad.
Chamber "auditions" were today. Since Louis and I are not sure if we've been accepted into Susquehanna yet, we went. It was very informal. John just had a few of us stand up and sing "Os Justi" as a quartet. Nothing big. I don't think I want to be stuck in choir for another year, though. I don't think I want to accept the commitment of the the New York and Europe trips if I don't know what me theatre schedule is going to look like. And frankly, theatre is a bigger priority to me right now. Yes, I love choir, but it just seems that more doors open for me through theatre. I've already been asked to do two more shows with Tantallon alone. I also asked to music direct a few shows and Charla said that she would love that. So... who knows.
We saw Cecilia today! I was so happy. I haven't seen her in forever. We went out to dinner after the choir thing and caught up a bit. It was nice talking to her again. Louie and I watched Memento after we came back. So, over all, it was a good day I guess. I have an interview tomorrow at 2:00, so wish me luck. I'm probably going to get a second job. Hopefully, teaching will be sufficient, but I guess we'll see.
Jun. 21st, 2005 @ 10:33 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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Another uneventful day. I went to Dad's today to grab a few last things. I finally checked my e-mail. Lots of fun stuff. Apparently the cast wants to buy a gift for the production staff. While that's all nice and cool, I really can't afford it. I'm really getting upset that the show is almost over. Yes, I'm very glad the I did it, I'm just sad to see it end. I plan to keep in contact with everyone. Hopefully, that will go as planned.
So, i'm going to start teaching students. Woo hoo! Neil is going to let me use his place. I'll be like an employee of his studio somewhat. I just have to be used by him (recitals, Master classes, etc.) That's a great deal to me. I really need the money anyway. And it'll help me brush up on my skills. I can't wait to start.
After I came back from Dad's, we really didn't do much other than clean and straighten things up. The house looks so much better than it did before. We rearranged a lot of stuff. I finally got the dishes and stuff over here. Now we don't have to use Glen's stuff.
My room is smaller, so I can't really fit everything like I used to. It still looks okay. At this point, all I have to do in the room is put together my bed. Seeing as how I don't plan to stay here long, I'm just going to do a half-assed job and not really screw everything together. It just makes it easier.
We made cake tonight. It was good. Then Louie and I walked around Wakefield Circle to work it off (not so much me as him - he had three pieces and I don't need it as it is). We came back and watched Soul Plane. A generally boring, but adequate day.
Tomorrow is brush up rehearsal in full make-up and costume. They're supposed to be taking pictures. I can't wait until tomorrow.
Jun. 15th, 2005 @ 11:57 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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I feel a little awkward in this house. I really don't feel like it's my house, ya know. It's unsettling. I don't want to stay here very long. Louie, John, Tiff, and I are going to find a place and live together. I can't wait.
I talked to Doug today. It was refreshing. Even better was the fact that he called me. I think I'm getting better with this. I'm starting to get a little more content (maybe that's not the right word) with the "friendship" deal. I still get that twinge of pain when I think about everything, but it doesn't depress me like it did say, at Neil's. I think things are going to turn out great.
Oh, Louis made dinner last night. It was/is (I'm eating left-overs right now) so good. I'm just about finished unpacking my room. I just have the clothes to finish.
I'm excited. I'm opening whole new chapter's in my life. I just hope that they go somewhere.
Jun. 14th, 2005 @ 02:00 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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So recapping the fourth and fifth performances...
Saturday night (taping night) was pretty good. THe audience was a hundred times better than Friday night. I can't wait to see how it turned out. We all went to Neil's afterward again. Of course we sang karaoke, which was a blast as always. We played "I never" and ended up demolishing all of the beer. By the time Doug and Ric left, I was horribly dejected of course. I'm such a dumb ass.
The next morning, Aleli made coffee and breakfast. It was very nice as usual. I love her. Anyway, so the performance today was awesome. The audience was wonderful. I even got applause after my scene with Doug. Dad and Glen came today. They said that they liked it. That was cool. Dad's distinct laugh helped fuel the audience. Today's performance was by fat the best so far.
And of course... we went to Neil's afterward. He had a nice little "cook-out". We had turkey burgers (which were delicious) and of course beer. We sang karaoke again. We had plans to play "truth or dare" (God, you would think that none of us are even out of high school), but decided to postpone it to the next time we congregate (probably this upcoming saturday). I really don't want this to end. To be completely honest, I just really don't want to lose contact with Doug and Ric. Doug says that he wants to spend time with me after the show is done. Doug, Neil, and I are going to be doing a recital sometime. That is something that I have to look forward to.
God, I'm hopeless. When I fall, I fall hard. I really wish I could be cold-hearted and devoid of compassion, but I just can't help it. It hurts so bad to not be able to follow my heart. God, why am I like this?
Jun. 12th, 2005 @ 11:40 pm
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| » Show #3 |
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Show number three went... well... crappy. It's not so much that we did that bad. It's just that the audience was horrible. They hardly laughed. I think they were unsure whether or not they could laugh. It wasn't like we didn't have energy or anything. I felt like they were a sponge and were sucking up every ounce of energy and comedic value that I had. I didn't even bother rushing to go meet and greet. By the time I got out there, everyone had left already. It didn't even phase me. I think the audience is going to be a lot better tomorrow. We film tomorrow, so I have to get to the theater a little earlier. I have to look pretty for the camera.
So, major drama in my life right now. I'm kind of in a bind. I know I put myself there, but it still depresses me. God... men... you can't live with them, and can't live without them. If that is not the truth. I see myself making a mess of things. That's the last thing I want to do. I think I'm going to have to ask him to be my "regulator" if you will.
So, Neil's is still on tomorrow night. Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully Doug can come. It sounds like he's coming at this point. Everyone wants him to go. I'm crossing my fingers.
So yeah, I'm kind of tired. I think I'm going to throw myself on the couch, maybe watch a little TV and then go to sleep. Tomorrow is moving day. YAY! I still have a lot to pack. meh...
until later...
Jun. 11th, 2005 @ 01:50 am
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| » Don't I feel parental... |
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So, rehearsal yesterday was GREAT! We didn't use any props or anything. We just ran through the show. It was hard to stay in character because everything was all over the place. There was a new pianist who is going to be playing the Sunday show. She really didn't know the music at all. It was horrible. Other than that, everyone had a really good time. It was really interesting because not a lot of people showed up. So we had like four guys doing the first piece. Fun. Oh, and Charla couldn't walk around a lot (she hurt herself I think) so she didn't go on stage when it was her scene; she just sang from her seat. So I got on stage and acted out her part. It was HILARIOUS... Especially when Doug came on stage to do their scene together. I figured I would go with it and we did their entire scene. It was great.
So we're planning on having another "Saturday Night" at Neil's. Neil and I are trying to get Doug to go again (It really isn't the same without him). He is still really freaked out by the whole situation that happened last time. I'm willing to put up with it if he's there. I just hope that he decides to come. I said that he would know by Friday or Saturday's show. On a lighter note, Ric is going. Woo hoo! We would just have fun and then crash at Neil's. We would just have to get up, get ready, and head out from Neil's to go straight to the theater for Sunday's show (oh, and apparently Dad and Glen are going to see the show this Sunday... hmmm). I don't know how Dad will react to the cast. He'll probably be like, "They're all... gay..." That would be an exaggeration of course, but I'm pretty sure that he'll think that; and then he'll go on about the only reason I'm doing the show is so I can act out my homosexual lifestyle without boundaries.. blah blah blah. It's the same thing all the time.
Whatever. Anyway, I'm watching the baby today. YAY! She had a fever and the daycare told Tiffany that Makaylah couldn't come back until the ninth. So, told Tiff that I could watch her. She's sleeping right now. She's starting to teeth now. Her bottom teeth are starting to come in. Fun times.
And yes, I'm moving this Saturday (which makes going to Pride a little difficult). In fact I think I'm going to have to miss out on the entire thing this year. ::sad face:: I was going to just go to the street festival if I were to miss the parade, but I have a show and call time is a 12:30. So we are just going to leave Neil's house around noon and go to the theater. Curtain is a 2:00, which puts us out of there around 5:00 and even if we left right after the show, we would be getting there as Pride ends. Blah. I at least want to snag a Metro Weekly to see if my picture is in there from last year.
Well, I will update soon. I plan on writing a little review after each show (I've already made it a habit with the first two). See ya'll lata!
COME TO MY SHOW!!
Love you all
~The Gay~TM
Jun. 8th, 2005 @ 09:12 am
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| » Second show cool |
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Second show is over (I guess it ended two days ago technically). It went okay; not as good as the first one, but still okay. Katrina came to see it. I was really happy to see her. She apparently liked it. YAY!
After the show, we all went to Frank's. We had tons of pizza and beer. It was great. Then we all (Doug, Neil, Aleli, Louis, Rionn, Lilibeth, and I) decided to go to Neil's place and sing karaoke. Again, fun. We went downstairs and sang showtunes etc. while I played piano. Then Neil and I thought it would be fun to played Beethoven's sonata No. 9 for everyone just for the hell of it.
I had lots of fun... I would go more into details about the night and the experiences, but I don't feel like typing really. YAY God! Brush-up on Tuesday - 7:30. fun.
Jun. 6th, 2005 @ 02:32 am
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| » Woo hoo! First Show! |
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So, we had our first show tonight. It rocked! Everything seemed to fall into place. Despite a few mishaps on my part (dropping my first prop, mic falling off and forgetting my fan for the act II finale), it was wonderful. People kept coming up to me afterward saying that I did really well. I think the best feeling was when Lauren (director) came up to me and said that I did great (considering she was tearing me to shreds the entire tech week). I had lots of fun. Louis helped out backstage and that was great. Everyone really enjoyed him.
After the show, a lot of us went out to Frank's (this pizza/bar place in Oxon Hill). I got a little tipsy and had lots of fun. I think I'm getting a little too attached to the cast though. I don't know how I'll handle not being able to talk to Doug, Ric, Rionn, and all of them. I guess what's a little more depressing is I don't think the feeling is reciprocated. I'm a little too emotional in that sense. I guess Chris and Louis are right to say that I'm a "tee-hee" girl when it comes to... well, I was going to say excitement, but I guess "guys" is the right word.
I spent last night beating myself up because I keep allowing myself to be put in these situations of un-reciprocated attraction and pointless pursuit. I don't know whats wrong with me. I really can't help it. Grr. Life sucks sometimes. But I guess that why they say... C'est la vie.
Jun. 4th, 2005 @ 03:48 am
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| » Quick update |
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I know that I haven't updated in a long time. I just wanted to drop a line. I've been super super busy. Today officially started hell week for The Mikado. Fun Fun Fun. They don't have the site up, which really sucks. I would just give everyone the site. Well, anyone who wants to go. The first show is this Friday. Curtain is at 8pm. It's going to be at the Harmony Hall Regional Center in Fort Washington (going 210 north, left on Fort Washington Rd. and a right onto Livingston Rd. Harmony Hall is right there on the left. There's parking in the front and on the side of the building. Tickets are [I think] $15 for adults and $12 for children/seniors). Hope to see everyone there. The show will run every Friday, Saturday and Sunday in June (with the exception of the last week in June).
Love ya'll
May. 31st, 2005 @ 01:59 am
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I think Doc might be mad at me. I keep missing these stupid rehearsals. We've already started the concert season, I don't see why we have to keep rehearsing. Whatever, I really don't need to. I know the chamber stuff and the concert stuff is easy enough to just look at and do well. I just really need to concentrate on Mikado now. I'm running lines now. Fun. I was late to rehearsal last night because I over slept. Nice.
Yeah, I really don't feel like typing anymore, so peace out.
:-)
May. 7th, 2005 @ 12:28 am
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| » Calming down |
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So, the audition went okay. I really don't feel like writing details. I just feel like I need to update in here since I haven't done so in a while. We had our first choir concert. It sucked for the most part. Lux was good. But everything else pretty much sucked. Plus... I didn't have my music. So I fudged most of the songs. I think it looked peculiar because I was smack in the middle of the choir where everyone could see me and I was looking around at other people's mouths trying to pretend like I knew the German. We're really cracking down with Mikado. Charla reminded me at last night's rehearsal that we only have four more weeks of rehearsal and that's it.
Oh, so I straightened my hair. It's pretty. I've gotten a lot of mixed reviews about it. Bryan likes it and that's all that matters. lol. He says I look like a white guy with a dark tan. Myke and Bryan just left (the hotel). I love you guys soooooo much! I was starting to go through withdrawal. I hadn't seen you in so long. Forgive me for being all pressed, I was just excited.
Anyway, I really don't feel like typing right now. So, I'm going to read my mail and I may write something afterward.
May. 4th, 2005 @ 01:30 am
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| » Rush, Run, Rest, Run, Rush |
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I have so much going on right now. It's not even funny. I missed choir rehearsal again today. I meant to go to at least the last hour or so of it, but we were working on a lot of stuff at Mikado rehearsal. I reviewed all of my songs. We don't have a lot of time to finish the show, but I think it's going to turn out just fine. There's a lot of good stuff happening. Everyone is learning really fast. We already have the blocking down for the first number, the womens' first piece, the guy's first piece, the act I finale, and the act II finale. God, I can't wait until the performances. Pooh-bah just keeps getting funnier and funnier.
Well, like I was saying, I am so busy. I have these rehearsal for The Mikado (performances are in June), Chamber and Concert Choir rehearsals (the concerts start on May 1), Susquehanna auditions on the 29th (yikes!), a gig with Neil in May (I just got the music today), not to mention my full-time job. It's a lot to take on, but I guess I can handle it.
I think I'm going to have to tell John that I'm in this Opera. He's getting pretty upset that I'm missing rehearsals like this. I really don't know how I'm supposed to tell him. I don't think he'll kick me out of choir or anything, I just don't want to be around for his reaction. I'm making all of the Chamber rehearsals, so that's a good thing and I'm sure he doesn't want to lose his bass section.
Louis and I talked to John today about the auditions. The lady in admissions said that she could try to postpone the audition until June, however, both John and I have this gut feeling that we should audition on the 29th. My head tells me that it'll be stupid because I'm really not prepared for it. I really don't know where to go with this one. I have to write my essay and stuff. That's going to take me forever. I was just going to use the same one that I used for Westminster, however, I don't know where it is. Lovely. I don't even know if they'll accept me academically (which is a requirement before you can be admitted into the school of music). I most likely won't be able to get my transcripts from Westminster unless I pay them a lot of money (which is not going to happen any time soon). It's just a big mess. But at least I got the pieces I'm going to play. I haven't taken lessons in forever, so I'm playing really easy pieces, just to be on the safe side: Bach - Invention #13 in A min (probably), Haydn - Sonata in G, and Chopin - Nocturne in E min. I know they're going to be like "Wha?", but I want to do something that I can prepare quick and well. I feel like an idiot. I started playing like 7 years ago and these are pieces that I was playing at 17 years old.
So, Neil and I have this gig in May at some nursing home's "high-tea time"... wow. Well, it's paying me $75 for an hour of playing, so I guess it isn't bad. I just got the music for it today. We're going to do: Beethoven - Sonata, Op.24; Vivaldi - Four Seasons, Op.8 (Spring); Gabriel-Marie - La Cinquantaine; Haydn - Serenade; and some voice pieces that he's singing. It's cool.
It's like I'm back in school again. I'm just surrounded by music now. Every waking moment that I'm not at work (and even a little bit at work too), I'm breathing music. It's nice, but occasionally tiring.
I like when people comment on my entries, so I probably shouldn't have written such a long entry. I'll remember to keep them shorter in the future, it's just that a lot has been going on.
Apr. 22nd, 2005 @ 01:35 am
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| » I'm on a roll...Pride! |
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I figured since I'm posting all this stuff that's happening in June, I might as well post this too:
Yay! Pride is almost here
Capital  2005
 "HONOR OUR PAST, FIGHT FOR OUR FUTURE"
 June 2nd-12th
Parade - Saturday the 11th (Dupont Circle)
Street Festival - Sunday the 12th (Pennsylvania Ave. between 3rd and 7th streets)
Hope to see you all there!!!
(I'm already starting to shop for it. hehe)
Apr. 21st, 2005 @ 02:44 am
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| » The Mikado!!!! [I'm Pooh-bah] (^_^) |
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So, Here's the info about the Opera (Operetta):
Book by W.S. Gilbert
Music by Arthur Sullivan
Performance Dates:
Friday, June 3rd, 2005 – 8:00pm
Saturday, June 4th, 2005 – 8:00pm
Sunday, June 5th, 2005 – 2:00pm (matinee)
Friday, June 10th, 2005 – 8:00pm
Saturday, June 11th, 2005 – 8:00pm
Sunday, June 12th, 2005 – 2:00pm (matinee)
Friday, June 17th, 2005 – 8:00pm
Saturday, June 18th, 2005 – 8:00pm
John Addison Concert Hall
Harmony Hall Regional Center
10701 Livingston Road
Fort Washington, MD 20744
Information: 301.203.6070
Tickets:
$15.oo – Adults
$12.00 – Seniors/Students
Apr. 21st, 2005 @ 01:21 am
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