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The Music Fairy

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morning time Sep. 3rd, 2008 @ 08:44 am
So, it's in the morning before I have to go to work and I'm updating so I don't go against what I said before. I really don't have time to go into detail about anything. This week is crazy. Melissa's wedding is this weekend so it's been pretty stressful. After this week though, I'll be able to breathe. I'm so excited though, because Myke is coming back next weekend. Anyway, I really have to go get ready for work, so I'll leave it at that. I'll update later.


Tired Aug. 20th, 2008 @ 12:10 am
So, this is going to be a short entry because I'm extremely tired. It was a pretty long day at work and it's late now. Anyway, I will expound further at a later date, but I'm basically on an emotional rollercoaster because of this most recent relationship (if you even want to call it that). It might have been two months of wasted time, but I'm not sure if I'm willing to devalue it just quite yet. Through all of the pain I've had to go through, there were some really great moments. I just hope that I can come to reconcile this in time. To be honest, I really wouldn't be writing in this right now if I didn't believe in the efficacy of writing as a therapeutic outlet. Well, as I stated before, I'm tired. So, I will close this entry out, but will try to maintain these entries.


~The Gay~TM
Current Location: Home
I'm listening to: The steady hum on the airconditioner

peoples!!! Aug. 7th, 2008 @ 08:47 pm
For all that still have a subscription to this journal, I'm resurrecting my queernotes page. So, go there and post!!!!


stupid test, cool results Sep. 26th, 2006 @ 05:51 pm
<td align="middle">NEW YORK!
You scored 57% Style, 12% Climate, and 91% Culture! </td></tr>
<td>You are New York City. New York City is the largest city in the United States. It is located in the southern part of New York State, at the mouth of the Hudson River (also known as North River as it passes Manhattan Island). “The Big Apple” is a major world capital and a world leader in finance, the arts, and communications. The port of New York is one of the finest in the world and ranks as the largest port complex on the East Coast. The city is the home of the United Nations and is headquarters for some of the world's largest corporations. The city is also the center of advertising, fashion, publishing, and radio broadcasting in the United States.

Oh yes, you're happy about this. You secretly wanted to get New York, didn't you? And why not...it's the city the symbolizes America and all the freedoms that America offers. You welcome diversity. You want to see those twinkling city lights. Heck, you probably wouldn't mind if your name was up in lights somewhere, too. You are a partier and you love to be out and about. Shopping, art, theater, people...that all makes you very happy. So does sunshine, so does snow...heck, you're not picky about the weather. Very nice result, my friend. </td></tr>
<td align="middle"> </td></tr></tbody></table>

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 75% on Style

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 0% on Climate

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 97% on Culture
Link: The Which Major U.S. City Are You? Test written by weeredII on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Hello, again Sep. 26th, 2006 @ 05:07 pm
Yes, so I'm not posting on here like I said I would. Life is hard with school and work and everything else. I barely have time for anything. I don't even get a day off. But anyway, now that I've stopped complaining...
Things aren't bad now. I'm not really liking Wal-mart right now. Not enough people work in the Vision Center. We have someone new, but we still need more people.
I still continue (yes, I know that was redundant) the status of "single". You know honestly, I just don't have time for a boyfriend. Or at least I don't have time to go looking for one. I have had one or two people approach me, but I'm sure with no more than a friendly greeting on their mind.
Things are okay with Louis. There is this new guy that he's talking to. It kind of bothers me that he is not open about it. He actually tried to hide it at first, until I said something about it. I'm not sure what he's afraid of. I've never talked to this guy or seen him. I don't even know if this guys knows I exist. Louis says he does, but I'm not so sure he's telling the truth. But whatever, that's his decision if he doesn't want me involved in his life.
I really don't know what to talk about other than school and work... because that's all I do. Oh, yeah, I'm supposed to start tutoring this guy in music theory. Hopefully, it will be more enjoyable for me than painful. I love teaching and all, it just depends on the student. Speaking of theory. I'm taking theory this semester and while I really like the class, we are going pretty slow. We started the semester with secondary dominants and we are still on them. We are only going to start diminished seven chords next class. I'm just waiting to do neapolitan sixths and atonal harmonies. I think I feel like that because my history class is ridiculously fast-paced. Now that I'm thinking about it, I guess it balances out.
Well anyway, I'm going to study some more for my history quiz and then I'm going to head to Choir, so this is where I'll sign off.


The GayTM <- I remember doing that when I used to write regularly.
Current Location: CSM library
I'm feeling: mellowmellow
I'm listening to: The gentle clicks of fingers against keys
Other entries
» It's been a long time
Wow, so when was the last time I was on here anyway? I know it's had to have been over a year. Anyway, I think I'll take another time to update, but I just wanted to put something in here.
» Yay!
Today was a little better than yesterday. At least I wasn't crying uncontrollably. I talked to Doug. We set up a time to meet so we can talk about things. He says (and I guess I agree) that we should see where each of us stand, see what each of us want, and figure out how to make the best of our relationship. I know that we're not going to be together, but I can't bare even thinking about losing him. If anything, I want to be there for him if not with him. I want him to be happy. And I really hope that I'm not complicating his life. I guess I'll just have to wait and see how things go.

Well, I talked to Neil as well. I'm really excited about this nursing home gig we've got this saturday. I arranged the Mikado so it'll be like 20 minutes long. It's funny. We're trying to get people to do it now. Doug can't do it unfortunately. I e-mailed Ric and Lilibeth, so hopefully they'll be able to. Neil and I also talked about this idea of his. He wants to open his own dinner theater with me. We talked about shows we can do and stuff like that. We already have the first year lined up. He wants to do it with in the next two years. I'm really excited about it. You know this show (The Mikado) has changed my life. There are so many new things that are opening up for me. I'm so thankful that I did get this opportunity. I really need to thank Chris the next time I see him. He really is the reason I did the show in the first place. I really am blessed. And you know, that makes me think. Through all the crap that I have to go through, I do have a lot to be thankful for. I think I was too busy looking at what I don't have that I missed what I do have. I was so concentrated on the fact that I can't be with Doug that I didn't really see the beginning of a great friendship. I was so distracted by my financial situation that I didn't see the opportunities opening up for me. It kind of gives me renewed determination and strength. God, everything does happen for a reason. And I'm and thankful for everything, good or bad.

Chamber "auditions" were today. Since Louis and I are not sure if we've been accepted into Susquehanna yet, we went. It was very informal. John just had a few of us stand up and sing "Os Justi" as a quartet. Nothing big. I don't think I want to be stuck in choir for another year, though. I don't think I want to accept the commitment of the the New York and Europe trips if I don't know what me theatre schedule is going to look like. And frankly, theatre is a bigger priority to me right now. Yes, I love choir, but it just seems that more doors open for me through theatre. I've already been asked to do two more shows with Tantallon alone. I also asked to music direct a few shows and Charla said that she would love that. So... who knows.

We saw Cecilia today! I was so happy. I haven't seen her in forever. We went out to dinner after the choir thing and caught up a bit. It was nice talking to her again. Louie and I watched Memento after we came back. So, over all, it was a good day I guess. I have an interview tomorrow at 2:00, so wish me luck. I'm probably going to get a second job. Hopefully, teaching will be sufficient, but I guess we'll see.
» (No Subject)
Another uneventful day. I went to Dad's today to grab a few last things. I finally checked my e-mail. Lots of fun stuff. Apparently the cast wants to buy a gift for the production staff. While that's all nice and cool, I really can't afford it. I'm really getting upset that the show is almost over. Yes, I'm very glad the I did it, I'm just sad to see it end. I plan to keep in contact with everyone. Hopefully, that will go as planned.

So, i'm going to start teaching students. Woo hoo! Neil is going to let me use his place. I'll be like an employee of his studio somewhat. I just have to be used by him (recitals, Master classes, etc.) That's a great deal to me. I really need the money anyway. And it'll help me brush up on my skills. I can't wait to start.

After I came back from Dad's, we really didn't do much other than clean and straighten things up. The house looks so much better than it did before. We rearranged a lot of stuff. I finally got the dishes and stuff over here. Now we don't have to use Glen's stuff.

My room is smaller, so I can't really fit everything like I used to. It still looks okay. At this point, all I have to do in the room is put together my bed. Seeing as how I don't plan to stay here long, I'm just going to do a half-assed job and not really screw everything together. It just makes it easier.

We made cake tonight. It was good. Then Louie and I walked around Wakefield Circle to work it off (not so much me as him - he had three pieces and I don't need it as it is). We came back and watched Soul Plane. A generally boring, but adequate day.

Tomorrow is brush up rehearsal in full make-up and costume. They're supposed to be taking pictures. I can't wait until tomorrow.
» (No Subject)
I feel a little awkward in this house. I really don't feel like it's my house, ya know. It's unsettling. I don't want to stay here very long. Louie, John, Tiff, and I are going to find a place and live together. I can't wait.

I talked to Doug today. It was refreshing. Even better was the fact that he called me. I think I'm getting better with this. I'm starting to get a little more content (maybe that's not the right word) with the "friendship" deal. I still get that twinge of pain when I think about everything, but it doesn't depress me like it did say, at Neil's. I think things are going to turn out great.

Oh, Louis made dinner last night. It was/is (I'm eating left-overs right now) so good. I'm just about finished unpacking my room. I just have the clothes to finish.

I'm excited. I'm opening whole new chapter's in my life. I just hope that they go somewhere.
» (No Subject)
So recapping the fourth and fifth performances...

Saturday night (taping night) was pretty good. THe audience was a hundred times better than Friday night. I can't wait to see how it turned out. We all went to Neil's afterward again. Of course we sang karaoke, which was a blast as always. We played "I never" and ended up demolishing all of the beer. By the time Doug and Ric left, I was horribly dejected of course. I'm such a dumb ass.

The next morning, Aleli made coffee and breakfast. It was very nice as usual. I love her. Anyway, so the performance today was awesome. The audience was wonderful. I even got applause after my scene with Doug. Dad and Glen came today. They said that they liked it. That was cool. Dad's distinct laugh helped fuel the audience. Today's performance was by fat the best so far.

And of course... we went to Neil's afterward. He had a nice little "cook-out". We had turkey burgers (which were delicious) and of course beer. We sang karaoke again. We had plans to play "truth or dare" (God, you would think that none of us are even out of high school), but decided to postpone it to the next time we congregate (probably this upcoming saturday). I really don't want this to end. To be completely honest, I just really don't want to lose contact with Doug and Ric. Doug says that he wants to spend time with me after the show is done. Doug, Neil, and I are going to be doing a recital sometime. That is something that I have to look forward to.

God, I'm hopeless. When I fall, I fall hard. I really wish I could be cold-hearted and devoid of compassion, but I just can't help it. It hurts so bad to not be able to follow my heart. God, why am I like this?
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